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Writer's pictureP.R. Maxey

Welcome-Being a Writer with Kids

Updated: Oct 1, 2019

Hello all!

New year, new site, new possibilities, and NEW WORKS IN PROGRESS!


For those who are new to me and my site, welcome! I am the author of new adult paranormal thriller UNTIL DEATH. What you may not know about me, is that I am also a wife and mother of two “littles” (6 and 3). I think I speak for most stay-at-home parents when I say that being a stay-at-home parent is HARD, but it is even harder to carve out some time for myself, let alone, time to write. My nightly routine used to consist of refereeing an internal argument between writing, reading, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, spending time with hubby, or sleeping, for heaven’s sake. Nine times out of ten, staring mindlessly at the TV won out, and frustration dug its spiked heel into my brain. I became a pain to be around because I wasn’t doing what I truly wanted to do.



This is where setting a schedule came in handy. One day, I told myself, “Enough playing around with the idea of being a writer! If you are serious about, one day, seeing your book cloaked in an ominous and intriguing cover, on an end cap at Barnes and Noble, then you had better get your head out of you’re a** and get to work!” (I respond to tough love)


I know what you’re thinking, Haha! Right! Does she even have children? Because, if she did, she would know that the moment she takes out her pen and jot down a schedule, a diaper signal shines in the night sky, calling Murphy’s Law into action, and all hell breaks loose. Trust me, I know! I would suggest a flexible schedule, written on a dry-erase board or in pencil. Give yourself 2-3 nights per week to write after the kiddos go down. If you find that you can fit in an extra night, by all means, do that. And this is just a starting point. You can increase these nights depending on your situation.


I also incorporate some rules for myself and for those around me.


1.) When it is my writing time, leave me be, please. Unless someone’s arm is hanging off, treat me as if I am at work… because I am.


2.) Treat myself as if I am at work because I am! If I am going to complain about not having enough writing time, then take the time I do have seriously. TV off! Go into a room by myself, without my phone (YES! WITHOUT THE PHONE). And give the hubby the baby monitor.


3.) Focus. It can be hard to quiet my mind after a whirlwind of preschooler arguments, teething meltdowns, and corralling the tiniest human, while simultaneously reminding the eldest to stop taking toys away from the baby with a friendly neighborhood time-out. But when their little bodies plop onto that blessed mattress, I run to the nearest empty room with my laptop, take several deep breaths, and start writing. Yes, my mind wonders… a lot, at first. But, if I stick with it, eventually, I hit my stride and words flow over the screen like a river over polished stones.


4.) Give myself a break. Yes, I know I was just complaining about not having enough writing time, but it is essential to give myself a break, to walk away from the story for a moment, let the blood return to my butt, and stretch my tired fingers. And when the well of words has dried up for the night, stop. Many times, have I deleted entire pages because I forced myself to keep writing well after my brain had hit zombie-mode and I was focusing more on correcting the blurriness of the words than I was on the words themselves.


Remember, that while your trying to make more time for writing, you also need to ensure you are balancing that with other things you want to do: reading a book, relaxing, watching a movie with the hubs, catching up on the latest episode of SUPERNATURAL or THIS IS US (OMG, Jack!), etc. When I was stressing myself to the brink of tearing my hair out, my writing suffered. In fact, there was very little writing getting done during that time. So, remember, a happy writer is a productive writer.


I also want you all to understand that, sometimes, allowing the longer breaks is needed. I cannot tell you how many times I found myself in a slump, until that one day when I saw “it” and my mind spiraled into the perfect next chapter. This muse can be anything from a person you met on the street, to the way a certain tree looked. And, all of sudden, you say, “I know how to finish that chapter now!”


Have faith in yourself and your ability. This blog is all about a positive writing life. I’m not saying that I won’t have my bad days, and I’ll even share them here, but “Myself, I always try to live within the light,” as Prof. Slughorn would say in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. So, I’m here for all your writing and publishing questions. I’m here if you want to vent or cry or scream in frustration.



For me, the next three months will be painted in gnarled trees, eerie chills, and blood-soaked snow because WAITING IN THE DARK is in phase one of editing. And I’m really looking forward to producing the best YA thriller my twisted mind can muster. Until next time, happy writing!

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